Trademarkofaz

mu5icliz: eldritch-elegy: fuckyeahnerdpr0n: whelp, I can now...

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 21:55:40 -0500

eldritch-elegy:

fuckyeahnerdpr0n:

whelp, I can now turn off the internet, I have seen everything

He also wore sweaters because of tattoos I believe he got in the Navy.

All this time i thought he was the image of suburbia. Turns out he’s more street than i am

I can die happy knowing not everything is what they seem at first.

I always knew it!! Caught you both!

Sun, 24 Feb 2013 22:53:34 -0500

I always knew it!! Caught you both!

str8nochaser: auradacity-of: h0odrich: aw shit get it...

Fri, 08 Feb 2013 00:53:14 -0500

str8nochaser:

auradacity-of:

h0odrich:

aw shit get it wednesday

HA! I almost forgot to reblog this today

Every Wednesday from now on.

Looks like Wednesday made my Thursday

All dragonball everything

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 21:05:45 -0500

All dragonball everything

lucifairy: I CANNOT STOP WATCHING When keeping it real goes...

Tue, 29 Jan 2013 20:19:31 -0500

lucifairy:

I CANNOT STOP WATCHING

When keeping it real goes wrong lol

iliketupac: this is too awesome not to reblog Let that shit...

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 22:02:44 -0500

iliketupac:

this is too awesome not to reblog

Let that shit happen to me…

That’s the mode I be in before doing something

Sat, 19 Jan 2013 11:21:34 -0500

That’s the mode I be in before doing something

They Know

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 07:21:26 -0500

They Know

We go out in the world everyday with faces such as this.

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:32:58 -0500

We go out in the world everyday with faces such as this.

Was going through my laptop and saw this. All the memories I had...

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 14:14:17 -0500

Was going through my laptop and saw this. All the memories I had over the years when I had braids.

Quick NBA Rant

Mon, 21 Nov 2011 00:05:54 -0500

Since the whole NBA lockout, it pisses me off how multi-million dollar players have the audacity to bitch and complain when they have the blessing to make more money than anyone of us a year…..screw that in one game, even if some if them are benchwarmers. As a fan, yes it sucks when it’s not on tv but I’m not going to cry spilled milk over their greediness. Look what happened with the NFL lockout. I’m glad it’s back but I personally think of the lockouts being a vacation to these players. The ones I really feel bad for are the ones who put their blood, sweat, & tears on the fields/courts. They’re the ones who literally enjoy the love of what they do, getting paid is only 2nd to them.

"Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up...."

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 12:58:49 -0400

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”

-

The news spreads quickly about Steve Jobs. Regardless if...

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 01:24:38 -0400

The news spreads quickly about Steve Jobs. Regardless if you’re a Windows or an Android fan, you can’t knock the man for creating the best products for our time. Think about it, what other phone is nicknamed “The Jesus Phone”?

Xmas

Fri, 24 Dec 2010 00:00:00 -0500

Hello FB and happy holidays to you and all your loved ones. This has been long overdue since my last entry but whatever, sue me. This year will be over and a new one will begin in one week, so I wanted to take some time out and type out some things. Today is Christmas Eve and for some reason that I can’t find, I’ve decided to write a bit of a blog about what Christmas means to some of us out there. I know it isn’t just me but I’ve noticed a lot of you guys out there with different moods on the biggest holiday of the year. Not everyone has the same taste towards this wonderful time of the year but hey, this blog goes out to all of you.

Christmas to all of us as a kid was nothing more than an extra day out of the year besides our birthdays to get extra presents. Since I’m the only child, this comes to no one’s surprise that I was pretty well spoiled. Whether I asked for it or if I never hinted to what I wanted, I got it. Fast forward to now, I realize it’s not about all the presents in the world, it’s about who you surround yourself with on a lovely, yearly holiday such as Christmas. I could care less about presents anymore because it’s all material stuff, it doesn’t make me complete. What I’ve always had but never realized it till I got older was all the fortunate love I was showered with over my lifetime.

I know there’s some people who don’t have the blessings and opportunities like others to spend with family and friends on holidays such as these. Some don’t even believe in or celebrate Christmas. To those, I can’t knock what you believe in or what you grew up with. All I can say is that you all know well enough what Christmas is about, even if it’s not your “cup of tea”. I don’t like thinking of any friends of mine being alone with no one to celebrate on such a holiday as Christmas. There’s always a way to celebrate regardless of how it gets done. Don’t be alone peoples! You’ll regret it eventually.

So regardless of who you are, what you believe in and how you celebrate the last of the holidays, know that this is a time to be loveable and peaceful towards one another. Hey we’re all dicks and asses towards each other for 11 months out the year, so for one month let’s just be happy. So with everyone finishing up on their shopping TODAY with their lazy asses, to the group of people preparing for tomorrow’s big family get together, leave FB alone for tomorrow and enjoy Christmas.

Merry Christmas

Back in Tempe

Tue, 15 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Hello everyone. Even though this is my third entry, it has been an awful long time. In this blog, I will not type out one of my infamous adventures (patience peoples). Oh there’s alot going on since I last typed but I’ve been organizing myself in my surroundings and paying attention more to my money and what I’m doing with it. You see, my main goal for the ‘09 is to be completely debt free and damn it……….., I getting there! It sucks putting your hard earned money into stuff you owe or what you forgot to pay but with the way the economy is right now, the faster I do this the better I’ll turn out. Besides, I want a brand spanking new car by the end of the year (I’ll still have Preston, Kiri =>) Also, I am in Tempe again and man, it’s a good feeling. This time around, I am doing more things here and having more fun but yet in still, taking care of priorities and then fun. Now with that boring crap out the way, I will write about some stuff that has been going on lately and probably something from this coming up weekend. Like I said, sorry this isn’t a story of something but think of it as a update on my whereabouts. Take care internet and I’m out……………….

Simply Put

Tue, 15 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

So I’m surprised that not only am I typing a long awaited blog since last November, but I’m typing out my first blog on Facebook. If anyone knows, I WASN’T a big fan of it whatsoever. Call me irrelevant, call me ignorant, but I stayed loyal to……. yes indeed, MySpace. Why make the switch? I just fell victim to Facebook one day and now I can say I was wrong, big time. I like Facebook and what it can do. It is easy and it just flows smoothly. I still do MySpace but I realized a couple of hours ago after logging in, it definitely ain’t the same. I’ve been glued to either my damn laptop or my phone making fun of people or simply saying what’s up to old friends. So to those that tried to convert me and to those that I said I’d never make the switch, I say to you that YOU WERE RIGHT AND I WAS WRONG. Happy?
Now on to other things, who’s watching the NBA Finals? Not a fan of either teams but Lakers can suck it. I’d rather the Celtics or any east teams win than the Lakers. Oh don’t get me wrong, I saw that ass whooping the Lakers gave to the Celtics and man did the Celtics choked badly. Oh well, who didn’t see this come down to game 7? Sometimes, I really wanna know, is it all a setup by the NBA? I know some of you are gonna give me crap for that statement and that’s fine. All I’m saying is you got the two of the biggest teams in the NBA with each of them having numerous titles and both of them having legendary players that use to play or are playing for them now. You gotta squeeze every bit of history out of this as much as possible. These two have as much history with each other as the Yankees and the Red Sox do. Who am I to say though? I know that I’ll be watching that game 7 to see who takes it all. One word: Celtics.
The 2010 World Cup. The most famous sport around the world except in the USA. It sucks it’s not seriously recognized here but we as a country are arrogant sometimes when you think about it. In the World Cup, you’re actually competing against the rest of the world. As to the World Series, you’re only playing within the country and at the end of the season, a team is named the world champion. This goes for a lot of our sports and this is why a lot of our sports aren’t recognized outside of here. Sure the people know our famous athletes or wear their merchandise but other countries won’t play our sports. Makes you think doesn’t it? So, who will win the World Cup? I can’t pick one, so it’ll either be Brazil, Italy or Mexico. If you think USA is gonna win, let’s just see. I’m not placing my money on them but I’ve been wrong before about everything else.
The iPhone stinks. Yes I am a hater for it being so nice but you know, when you start veering over to the Android side, things start to look so much better. How many people are really gonna cop it? How many people are gonna use it on AT&T really? We all know the iPhone would do a lot better on another or all carriers but AT&T is lame. You can talk about what the new iPhone has but how long did it take to get those new feature you’ve been craving for? How long did you wait for copy and paste when everyone else had it? How frustrating was it not to be able to send picture messaging? Can’t get a signal half the time? You know what? This sounds more like AT&T’s fault more than the phone itself so let me switch gears. (1) Can’t take the battery out, (2) camera is low quality (until now I guess on the new ones), (3) no expandable memory, (4) the phone is too expensive not including the AT&T contract, (5) No flash, I think you get the picture. To each it’s own I guess, all I’m saying is if someone says my Android sucks, how about you buy an iPhone if you can afford one and then we’ll talk about it.
Well, I’d figure I throw out some things I was thinking about and get the basics on blogging on here. For those that don’t know, I have a few stories on my MySpace. I’d figure I bring them over here to fully complete my move over to the “dark side”. Sit back, read, clown on me but in the end, enjoy the stories I share with you guys.

I Couldn't Move

Tue, 15 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Hello everyone,
First, let me say Happy New Year to everyone and hopefully, everyone does better things for the new year. Secondly, I’m very excited for the new president Barack Obama. Loved the speech and I want to see what’s in store for the country for the next 4 years. In my opinion, I don’t see Obama as the messiah like everyone else does, but I do see this man as a icon. We’ll wait and see. Third, shout outs to my friends. No reason there, just hey to everyone that I know. Now the reason I’m typing is because I have another story for everyone and it happened last Saturday. Some may be asking why so late? Well………….. I got lazy, screw you. Now same rules apply like the last time. Names will be changed to protect their reputation and what not except me cause of course, it’s my story.
Alright, Saturday I hung out with my peeps. I was with “Yung Berg” and “100” at my house (if you don’t like the nicknames peoples, kiss my ass!! Those that were with me know who they are). Anywho, Berg, 100 and myself were trying to figure out what to do later on that night. My problem was helping out a certain person with a errand. We’ll call this person “Nasty” (lol!). So back to the story, while Berg and 100 was checking out some ladies on Berg’s Facebook, I was arguing with Nasty on the phone about bringing his ass over to get this errand out of the way. Over an hour later and slobbering all over the girls on Facebook (I hate your ass Berg), Nasty finally shows up. Now all four of us are chilling for a quick minute in the crib until my mom pops up. If you know my mom, you will get a guaranteed laugh and a good time, but I won’t cause she’ll be clowning on me. So 30 seconds of her just saying hello to everyone, I forced everyone outside (I ain’t getting put on blast in front of my people’s). After talking outside for a while and having cops in the area (Berg and I know what happened), Berg dipped out and the rest of us went and hung out with Nasty at his crib.
Hours later, we’re all ready to go out and have fun. But Nasty decided at the last moment not to come with us and go do “other things”. So after hooking up with Berg again, 100 and I went to a club/resturant called “Jilly’s”. If you’ve been there on certain days, you’ll either see youngin’s or oldies. That night was youngin’s (the best). Now we all were contemplating on what’s in store for us and just hyping ourselves up when I remembered earlier, Berg said they were filming a movie or something down there. So I couldn’t go back to the crib to change correctly so I wore what I wore (could of did better). Once we arrived, not even three seconds into the parking lot to park, “potentials” walking to the entrance.
After getting out of the car, we followed these two ladies to the front. Now at the time, I didn’t realize what Berg was looking at so hard for. I assumed something else of the ladies. So when we got in line, Berg and I were commenting on the ladies in front of us. Now Berg had the idea of talking to them. Doesn’t seems like a problem right? Just making small conversation till we get in right? Well, feeling the pressure, I backed out. So one of the ladies turns around and makes small talk with Berg. I figured, what the hell just go in for the other one. The other turns to me and what did I do……………………….. I froze! Just awful. So after the small talk, the ladies turned back around. I asked Berg if he knew the broad and he says “yes”. (Wow Berg, you wrong for that.)
At this point Berg finally tells me what he was looking at and………..GOD DAMN!!! Put this way, when you see a girl that is stack a certain way and in certain places, the correct term for her would be a “stallion”. I couldn’t help myself at looking at this…………hell, I was checking out her ass. Now during this time, Berg is trying to get her attention and then blame it on me but to no avail. 100 on the other hand was the slickest m.f out of all of us. 100 was behind Berg and I and was just staring like there was no tomorrow. Everytime I looked at him, his eyes never looked up. I was one of the tall people in line so whatever I did, everyone knew. I had to play it off like I messing with my shoes just to look at her and she was right in front of me!!! But I will say this, after staring for so long and seeing her “hobbit” friends cut in front of us to talk to her, she turned around to where I made the eye contact and everything. This broad wasn’t right in the face……..but yet in still, she still would of got it from ya boy if I wasn’t too chicken sh*t.
So after getting in, we all went to the patio to get our drink on.. I noticed when you’re over 21, all the 21 and older outside……..look horrible. Nobody looks right at all. Apparently, anyone that’s 20 and under are in the club looking pretty damn nice. So we go back inside and go straight to the dance floor. We see a bunch of people on the dance floor and we see the camera light. Where ever the light shined on, people started to act a fool and dance a little more harder compared to the ones not even dancing at all when the camera isn’t on them. Once we approached the dance floor, we found out that it was just one guy with a small camera and he only shined the light on some white chick trying to break dance like she was from “Save the Last Dance”. Looking like she was from the 80’s with a trucker hat on and a “I Love Hip Hop” ripped T-shirt . In my opinion it was either for a documentary or a low budget music video. But Jilly’s knew how to pack the room though. Just tell everyone there’s a movie being shot at the club. How dumb was I?
So now, Berg is already getting his boogie on and getting the pin numbers (phone numbers for you simps) and then he decided to go and holla at a lesbian (a nice looking one at that if she wore girl’s clothes). Needless to say after a while, the boy got the pin and came back. Then 100 out of nowhere, started asking the ladies for a dance or whatever and sure enough, it was on. Some of you may be saying “Alright Tracy, who did you get at?” Well………………………………………………you see……….no one. I did absolutely nothing for THE ENTIRE NIGHT!!! I watched as these two macks was picking, litterally picking broads left and right to dance with ‘em. Berg was getting dances and either getting the pin or sharing his pin with them. As for 100, he was dancing like he was going to trial for a murder case the next day;) As for the pin, if he didn’t get that, the boy got himself a sh*t load of hugs. Berg got jealous that he wasn’t getting hugs at one point of the night but hey, they were doing it. 100 noticed what was going on with me and was telling me to “grab a girl and show ‘em how it’s done”. But I couldn’t bring myself to do anything. Don’t get me wrong readers, the night was sooooooooo easy for anyone to go in the spot, NOT EVEN make an impression and just do what you wanted to do. If you wanted to dance, do what Berg was doing. When they walked by, grab their hand, get their attention and that was it!! If you was going for a smoother approach, do what 100 did. Walk up to whom you wanted to talk to, say something sweet in their ear and BAM! At one point, they were both dancing at the same time. Berg was on my left getting served up on a wall while 100 was getting his freak on on my right. As for me, nothing. You have to understand, I’m in the middle just taking turns watching as these two macks start giving it to these ladies and I’m just yelling over the loud music “What’s wrong with me?”
Going to the restroom to put cold water on my face didn’t work, getting another drink on the patio made me relax but once I got back in, it didn’t work at all either. The low point for me was when 100 and Berg moved up on this table with a few noticable ladies. I didn’t even roll with them (I know, I know, I’m awful at this point). After a minute or so, Berg was dancing at the table I believe and 100 was not only dancing but got the pin. After the two went around the club like some damn gigolos, the lights came on and show me what these broads were really looking like. To be real, alot of them were nice. Some weren’t even wearing makeup.
Both of them continued hollering outside and yet all I did was look around the parking lot as the dude’s parking lot pimped and the ladies struggled to get to their cars without a brother trying to holla at ‘em. Getting to the car, I found out that Berg was up on 7 pin numbers and gave his pin out to 8 (I hope that’s right), 100 was the player of the week. Even though he didn’t have the most pins (I can’t remember so I’ll say 4?….), he came out of nowhere and was picking ladies up left and right. No matter what 100 did, at the end, he always got a hug.

But the nights not over yet……………………………………………………….

We decided to go to Jack’s for some club grub. As we were at the menu of the drive thru, we saw a party bus drop off some people in a nearby parking lot. I’m in the backseat while the other two are of course in the front. I see a girl walking into the parking lot and I figured “Since I didn’t do anything at the club, I gotta do something here.” So I opened up the door, peeked my head out and got the talking. Back and forth we went as she’s walking to her car. I’m just putting on whatever charm I had remaining that night and dished it out. Berg gets the idea of getting out and hollering at the ladies that are in the lot. So I rolled with him as 100 stayed in the car to drive towards the window. As we approached the girls, the girls started to act like they were in a hurry and rushing to get to their cars. Berg made a wise decision and said that his Breakfast Jacks were more important. So we got back into the car and got our food. Berg took the car into the parking lot to find the girl he was looking for. But to no luck, so we chilled at my crib, ate and called it a night.
Now for the record, I have my fair share of stories/events, whatever you wanna call ‘em where I had a good time or a bad time. In this situation, this was awful. I had no excuse what so ever. My one big weakness is being too picky. If you’re around me, you know it sucks when I say something stupid like “Nah man, she don’t got enough ass” or “Can’t do it, she can’t dance”. One thing I will take away from that night is just to go out there and do it. What that means is stop thinking and just go with the flow. I do have my expectations up way too high and it cost me dearly that night. Had I just relaxed and just had fun, there could of been some nice happy endings on my part but I got caught up trying to get top notch “potentials” when I wasn’t even in top notch form that night what so ever. As for this story, I am NOT ashamed nor embarrased to share this with anyone. We’ve all had something close to this………………. I take that back. We’ve all had that day where we could of done different. This is just another one I have.
So shout out to Berg and especially 100. You amazed me that night and even when I told you two to keep it moving without me, you still tried to get it poppin’ with me included. Thanks. Shout out to the “stallion”. I don’t know who you are but I regret not saying something to you. Shout out to the to the two people I saw at the club that I knew. I won’t throw the names out there but what’s up to you guys. I’ll try to stay up on these lovely blogs here, they’re actually fun to do. As long as I have fun or experience something, I’ll put it up here. When I’m thinking of a epiphany I had of a certain broad about how dumb she is, I’ll put it up here. No matter what, it’s gonna come up here. Besides that, I’ll see everyone later.

"Las Vegas, sell me a dream"

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Hi Everyone. I had a long week of trying to finish this blog, oops I mean story now. I started this on the 27th of October and I’m finally done with it. It could have been much longer but once I knew I was getting to the end, I decided to narrow it down a bit. I started losing steam everyday when I came home after work, I get to typing paragraph by paragraph. Besides, I have a life. So you’ll probably noticed how detailed it is at first and how it gets less detailed around the end. Well I hope you can deal with all this and hopefully when I’m not lazy, I’ll post the pics up. Nothing spectacular but the pics kinda make you feel what I was seeing. Well here you go. This blog or “story” started on the Oct 27, the day after I came back. ****************************************************
Well good day to the Myspace people out there. I am glad to actually be typing something and something really good to share with you guys. I feel recharged and refreshed after having a sluggish few weeks and just becominhg bored of the usual same (aren’t we all?). Well first off let me just say that two weeks ago, my special day (b-day of course) was a night I could never forget…. because I don’t remember alot from it (good times?) but none the less. After two days worth of a horrible hangover, I asked myself “I know I can do better than just one night at a bar. How can I make this better and remember it?”. Well, I present to you an idea that came about with my friends and I: Las Vegas.Now I’ve been planning this trip with my friends since earlier this year and just literally came back from there yesterday. Now there were some people that were suppose to go but they had other things going on in their life. I was upset in a way where I wanted them to come and share that experience you have with friends but what can you do about it? That’s life and if I was in the same predicament as they were, I probably wouldn’t go with the opportunities knocking on my door like it was for them. In all honesty peoples, when you go on a trip with family, it’s a different kind of fun compare to going with your closest friends. That’s what made me almost sad… until I left and thought more fun for me (I’m horrible). With that said, you really missed out but nonetheless, it’ll happen again and you better roll with us. My friends and I went for four days of just doing absolutely every and anything we could possibly do…. literally. But I feel myself getting ready to explain everything without setting up the story correctly and in detail like I do with everything so let’s go ahead and start with the disclaimer and we’ll take it from there. And another thing peoples, this WILL probably be the longest blog/story I’ve typed out yet, so I suggest you get comfortable and read on.DISCLAIMER: Those in any of my stories don’t really need their names in it so out of respect, I’ll do just that. Even if you’ve figured it out who they are in any of my stories, good for you. What do you expect?All right so last Friday, I woke to excitement and just feeling like nothing can f*ck up my day. Went into work even though I knew I was going to be there for a few hours and just couldn’t think of nothing else but Vegas. This was going to be my first time out there with friends, not family. For no reason at all, I felt I needed to tell people at work that I was leaving in a few hours to go to Vegas. Maybe I’m an a**hole or maybe I like to rub sh*t in (maybe both?) but when you’re walking by people letting them know you’re going to Vegas and they don’t realize you’re talking to them, isn’t that just pathetic of my a**? Now my friend “3cp” just texted me and was letting me know he was out of work and getting ready to leave this hellhole of a state (too harsh?). Remember when you wanted to leave school for some reason but time wasn’t on your side and it took forever to leave? Where it felt like one minute was three minutes? I have a watch, a cell phone and my iPod. Do you realize how many times I looked up at my clock at work just looking, anticipating, making sure I wasn’t doing anything stupid to get in trouble at work? So after 3-4 hours I believe of just contemplating, I finally left. Got my a** home and there was my other friend “21”. Everyone was ready to go and I didn’t even pack up with my dumb a**. Well with much haste, I grab shoes, clothes, psp, iPod and my gameplan of what would be the first thing to do. Well, the trip took 4.5-5 hours and the drive was actually good. After b*tching and complaining about why I’m paying for a phone that doesn’t work outside the state when you’re paying for an “everything plan”, just looking at the Hoover Dam and the new bridge they’re building made me forget what I was even talking about. The bridge looks something futuristic, almost like a big ‘ol Stargate (someone better know what Stargate is dammit!). Now when you see the first casino, you get excited and assume you’re there…. not even close. All these little casinos are embarrassing. They got the cheap 1970’s casino logos and they’re buildings remind me of a particular Garcia’s by my house. Now once the highway turns into their freeway, now you really get antsy. Who’s played “I Run This Town” while comming into Vegas? I did.For those that have been there, everything that I’ll be typing is nothing new to you so skip ahead but everyone else, let me tell you something. The first thing you see if you go in the direction of the infamous strip, you’re going to see ALOT, ALOT and………. ALOT of wedding chapels. I knew Vegas was known for this but wow, they got wedding chapels over there like we got Walgreens and CVS on every corner. In a few areas, there’s alot of chapels that are right next to each other (built into the same building) apparently trying to compete over whose marrying the most impatient people out there. On their windows, they got wedding deals on one free night in a hotel (the hotels are sh*tty and are built in some of the chapels), free outfits to get married in and my favorite ad: Free Adult on Demand for your 1st night;). All this is before you get close to the strip. Now who can say they saw a sh*tty strip joint with strippers on swings waving at you and playing on a see-saw telling you to come on in.I can.When we finally hit the strip, I was amazed at every shiny light my eyes could see. Flashing lights, beautiful ladies walking down the strip, not alot but a few fancy cars, I felt like anyone should when they saw what I saw; I need to stay here forever. After almost getting my head cut off by 3cp’s sunroof (a**hole), we spent a good hour on the strip driving and looking for a parking spot into the hotel we would stay at, The Luxor. Now for those that don’t know, the Luxor is the big black/mirrored pyramid. This place is amazing on the inside but very, very, very confusing if you’re looking for your room. You’re either in the pyramid itself or you’re in it’s “towers” that are connected into it. We stayed in one of the east or west towers and damn was it nice. To be so expensive, it could of looked like we spent alot. It just looked plain in my opinion. Anyways, after putting our bags on the floor, we all decided at that moment to get “suited up” and head right back downstairs. Watching females walking in front of you not knowing where they’re from and looking at how they were dressed, it’s a cliche but I see why it’s know as Sin City. Not to get off subject, but I really need to say this and if anyone’s been there recently you can agree with me. LAS VEGAS IS PACKED WITH BEAUTIFUL ASIAN GIRLS! Because of Veags, I am offically convinced on asians girls now. OMFG!!! I don’t know where they came from but I’m glad they were there. You wanna come to Vegas, you come prepared. Now how many times have you heard that or even say it? 9 out of 10 times, you’re really not. I surely wasn’t when I saw the ladies. What can I say, my expectations were low. So back to heading out, the three of us (it should have been 5 or 6) just started walking around, getting a feel of the hotel and where we would do our gambling at and clubbing. Now if there’s one thing I didn’t do out there that I wished I did, was go to a club in the Luxor called “L.A.X.”. This was suppose to be one of the hot clubs in Vegas that everyone talks about going. Well because of my stupidity, we had to go back upstairs to the room not only once but twice to change my shoes and to get the camera. Then after coming back, we found out they cut the line outside off. I’ll never know what it was like but what can you do? So we decided to go to Liquidity, a bar located in the middle of the tables in the hotel. For some reason, 21 decided to order a Devil’s Martini. Figuring I was someplace special, I ordered myself and 3cp one too. Boy oh boy, Devil’s Martini is the nastiest thing I have ever put in my mouth (fill in your own jokes here). If you ever tried to drink an egg yolk and add salt to it, there you go right there. What made it so funny was 21 never had it and just wanted to try it. I figured he already had it before so 3cp and I followed right along. That drink was very expensive and that’s when I realized drinks are twice as much in AZ. I never finished it and I don’t give a damn. In fact, I don’t think anyone finished it. Yuck. So after more walking around, I realized people were smoking inside the building. I don’t know about you but this is some off the wall sh*t here. The fact I’m looking at people smoking inside of a building is amazing and yet they’re looking at me like they wanna hit me for staring at ‘em too hard. I don’t blame ‘em. Then to see people walking around just drinking, I was trying damn near trying to finish a nasty drink at a bar instead of walking around with it. And walking around doing these things with cops in the same building, I was a retard but amazed. With those two things in mind, Vegas-2, Phoenix-0. So then we ran into some guy who worked for the club/resturant called “The Cathouse”. He told us to check out the V.I.P for $30-$40 I believe. We figured it was a good idea and checked it out. Dude let us in for $20 each and then we went up in this pimp a** elevator. Needless to say, dude was really hyping up the V.I.P area and tried to get us a bottle of vodka for $300! WTF!!! After we turned him down, my mind was in a frenzy. My 1st club out in Vegas, alot of expectations. I already seen what was outside when we was driving on the strip, I already saw all the potential in the hotel, hell I already saw the people that were gambling. That’s when I completely forgot one of my cardinal rules; keep your expectations low. Once that elevator opened, you hear music but in front of me was a wall. We made a quick right turn out the elevator and dude just left us up there and went back into the elevator. I was in front of everybody and the first to see a sea of people just dancing. The area in honesty after I calmed down was small but manageable. Then that’s when I noticed there wasn’t any “potentials” in the area at all. Then I noticed the terrible ratio of guys over whatever girls that were “manageable”. So I chilled by the bar with 3cp and 21 just looking around, getting a feel of what was to come out of this place. So, there was a couple of fat girls in front of us just being drunk and having fun on their own. Dancing on top of the table/stage, being silly, just minding their own business. Then out of nowhere, a group of 5 asians came up and 3 out of the 5 were girls. Now I know what I said earlier about Vegas convincing me but this was the only time I felt sick to the stomach. These girls were hammered to the point of no return. One in particular was known throughout the night as…… “spandex girl”. This chunky broad got up on the table where the fat girls were and tried to dance where they were. Just seeing her trying to climb up on the table/stage was just funny as hell plus on top of that, this girl had no ass whatsoever. Spandex girl was wearing a g-string (maybe an h or i-string) and OMG, her spandex were ripped in several places. Was the rips for looks you ask? HELL NAH! It was because she was bumping into whatever with her drunken a** or she was just to big to be wearing some damn spandex. The group of fat girls got off the table/stage and was literally on the dirty club floor laughing at this non-rhythm chick. Oh it was horrendous and then when she got off the stage, she “tried” to dance with the other two girls that was rolling with her. Noticed how I said “tried”? Imagine three drunken, non-rhythm girls trying to dance with each other but instead just f***ing each other. Don’t get me wrong, me and everyone else looked. We couldn’t help to look at this craziness because there was nothing else going on in the club anymore. The guy ratio was adding up, less and less people stopped dancing and there was really no “potentials” to scope out. Spandex girl at one point decided to give one of her 2 friends a lapdance but was just constantly bending over when she really, really shouldn’t (eewww). But when they switched places and her friend was trying to give spandex girl a lapdance, she basically stop dancing and just went down on her and start eating her out!!! No lie, I’m not lying! They was rolling with two guys in the group and you can tell they didn’t know what to do but enjoy it. Me and the group are just disgusted at what the hell we’re looking at. It was nowhere sexy at all, just…. just sloppy. I got tired of being disgusted so I walked around to scope out the place with 3cp and 21. Then a group of big black girls came in. One of them was a redbone and she was rocking a particular 70’s afro and going with the whole “Foxy Cleopatra” look. I believe 3cp was already in his “happy” mode because he really wanted to get at her. How do I know this? When you got someone whispering in your ear that they want to stick it in her a**, that let’s you know what’s going on in his mind. Now this girl looked like the “leader” of this group and decided to dance on the same table/stage that everyone else was on. I actually tried to pull the girl for 3cp but he wanted me to get at her and try to f*** her that night. On a scale of 1-10, this broad was a 4. Nothing about her was hot in my opinion but to each it’s own. So after being in there for I believe over an hour, there was nothing really to check out so we figure we head out while the night was just getting started. I go to the restroom and by the time I come out, 21 and 3cp are talking up a drunken storm with a couple of girls coming out the bathroom. Now only was I hella surprised, I immediately went into “let me see what you look like in the light before I start talking to you” mode. I stood by the wall just looking at my friends talking away while I patiently waited so we could roll. An extremely drunken girl comes out and stands next to the rest of her friends. Because 3cp is the biggest a** when it comes to putting me in predicaments I don’t like, the very drunken girl wanted to dance with me so badly. So being a trooper, I was the first to take the girl out to the dance floor while the others were still talking to the other girls by the restroom. This girl wanted to only dance with me because I was black……………………….. let that sentence set in for a bit….. it’s true, that’s what came out of her mouth. She told me while we were heading to the dance floor and while we were dancing that she doesn’t know how to dance and wanted me to show her a “thing or two” because she heard black people can dance (don’t need to argue that point). So instead of showing off my undefeatable moves on this novice, I just simply did the 2-step and she couldn’t even comprehend that. So now her friends and the guys are by the bar I guess to get drinks or to just talk and one of the girls comes up to her to pull her away from me (ouch!). Come to find out, it was her younger sister trying to pull her away from me. The drunk girl was trying to tell her over the loud music how cool my dancing was cause the broad kept pointing at my feet. The younger sister looked at my feet, looked up at me and gave me the “gas face”. I’ve been dissed before several times but for some reason, I wanted to give this girl a karate chop to the throat for looking at me the way she did. Without skipping a beat, I ignored the c*ck-blocker and continued to dance with this girl. After properly introducing myself and telling her she looked 29 (wrong move…), she immediately fell in love. This girl and all her friends are from Utah, they’re all mormons, she’s 42!! and wait for it….. and has triplets!!! Do you realized how fast I stopped dancing and tried to look at her face in the light? For the record, she had one of those “rubber band” bodies, straight brown hair to her back, green or hazel eyes but after hearing all that, all I could do was try and talk to her other friends. She took a hint and went to talk to her sister who was staring at me like she’d never seen such a masterpiece in front of her (I’m not concieted). The next girl I was talking to from the group was a blonde who I saw earlier dancing on the table/stage earlier and decided to work my way up from complementing her on her moves to figuring out what plans she had for the night. For whatever reason, the drunken girl’s younger sister pulls the blonde girl away from me to talk and I just said out loud while the music was bumping “what the f*ck is your problem?” I noticed the guys were in the area of where the girls were but they weren’t getting interrupted by stupid a** c*ck-blocker. So after I let them know who we were messing with and how I found out, the blonde comes up to me and invites me to get some grub with her and her friends. At this point, 3cp is hammered with blood shot eyes. 21 on the other hand was doing well, more than what I thought he would be. So trying to tell two tipsy people that I got invited to eat with these girls wouldn’t of sound right so I implied that WE got invited (long *sigh*). The blonde comes up to me again and says if I’m rolling with them or not. I told the guys to follow the girls and sure enough, we all got on the elevator to head out. During the short elevator ride, I noticed the ratio. It was 5:3, ladies. We weren’t even in Vegas for 3 hours and already, expectations were rising. 3cp was talking to a red head who you could tell he really wanted to f*** and 21 was talking to the blonde. Me on the other hand was nowhere near the zone of even being tipsy so I had the advantage of looking at everyone that was in the elevator with me. The drunken girl I danced with was HORRIBLE. She wasn’t lying about her age (face looking like Skeletor). Her sister thought she was cool with her straight brown hair covering her whole face (looking like the grudge). The blonde was a oldie too but had very blue eyes and was better looking for her age. A red head that 3cp was trying to pregnate was short, blue eyes if I remembered, wearing no bra apparently and had the tattoo of “Rebecka” on her left boob. The last one was an odd one. She was a brunette, wearing a short plaid skirt, black knee-high boots and was very, very, very outspoken (you’ll find out why). Out of the 5, the blonde and the “outspoken” were the cute ones out the group (that’s saying alot there). I heard the red head say her name to 3cp which was Rebecka. First of all, why would you tattoo your own name on your boob? So I’m laughing to myself while we go across the way to one of the many resturants in the Luxor. The name of this particular one was Pyramid Cafe. While we waited in line, 21 was talking to the blonde, the sisters were talking to each other, the outspoken was talking to me and 21 at the same time and Rebecka was talking to 3cp who was really trying to focus on where he was but not make it obvious. 3cp was on some “I don’t give a f***” mode cause when Rebecka just stopped talking and began to pull out some makeup stuff 3cp tries to whisper in my ear but he’s using his regular voice “Yo man, I wanna f*** this….. girl so bad….. f*** these b*tches man, f*** ‘em.” I wanted to laugh but when you have a friend whose not whispering and everyone hears it, it’s kinda hard to react to that. I told him to chill and relax and not to worry. We all got seated and the “outspoken” and blonde decide right off the bat to buy patron shots for everyone. This was fine and all but the blonde quickly asked us where were our wristbands where at. Wristbands? Then I noticed all the girls had on different color wristbands. The audacity of this broad to then say that since WE (the guys) didn’t have on a colored wristband from the Cathouse I guess, I (YES ME!!!) would pay for everything. I…. I couldn’t believe what was said and automatically I said “You must be out your f***ing mind if you think I’m paying for everybody. F**k that.” I was heated. She then told the group I was paying for everything. Oh man, this girl definitely didn’t know me. The waiter came with the drinks and then me and whoever started to order food (I had an “grand slam” imitation). The blonde suggest everyone take their shots but I wasn’t taking any shot whatsoever. I even told 3cp to not drink anything that was on the table, even if it was water (lol). I don’t know if 21 did so I can’t say but him and the blonde started conversating big time. The sisters kept to themselves the whole time just talking and I guess holding hands for comfort or something so for the record, the sisters will not be mention in the story no more because they didn’t do nothing else. 3cp got angry when Rebecka got up to use the restroom. Apparently, “outspoken” rubs it in 3cp face and says she didn’t go to the restroom but to talk to a black guy that was right behind me and then went towards the restroom. Rebecka didn’t come back for a while but when she did, she took a sip of water or took the patron shot and claimed she was “sick” and that she was going back up to her room. “Outspoken” didn’t even buy that excuse and put her on blast by pointing out the black dude that was waiting for her. I didn’t need to turn around cause it didn’t matter. As for 3cp, he justed looked sleepy and angry at the same time. For what? I’ll never know…… So the food comes and I’m grubbing away not concerned with anyone. “Outspoken” starts up a debate with 3cp and the blonde quickly wants to jump in. I advise her not to and just to enjoy the carnage 3cp was going to leave behind. Come to find out “outspoken” is just as opinionated as 3cp was. All I did was listen and eat and “outspoken” purposely wanted to put me in the mix and get my opinion. It’s 3-4 am in the morning, why should I have a debate/conversation on what’s going on in the world? I’m hungry, just got into Vegas, looking to check the hot spots out, trying to see what these cougars were up to, I’m not gonna say I don’t care what’s going on in the world but at that moment, I could give a rat’s a**. 3cp decided to play with one of my toasts I had and I figured fine, eat it just don’t put your greasy retarded hands on my bacon or eggs. He eats it then throws a piece of it in my face like wealthy old man throwing scraps to a dog while everyone was looking. Being the cool man I was, I played it off however I could but I figured I’ll kick his a** later. 21 does something to make the blonde start up a conversation and boy oh boy did she give me her f***ing life story. I believe her name was Janet, she told me she’s 31 or 35, has a “special” sister that likes all the attention in the family, from Utah, a mormon, owns a business with her husband, has two puppies (she calls ‘em her “kids”) and came to Vegas for the 1st time with just her girlfriends. “Outspoken” told me her name was McKenzie and that she use to live in Utah and be a mormon but is now living in Vegas as an atheist with her two kids while going to school. You have to realize one of my talents is I have a good memory but all this crap made me wanna officially eat my food and rollout. 3cp is kicking my leg underneath the table and once again in his “whisper” voice to “leave these f***ing b*tches”. When he’s right, he’s right but I wanted to pay for my food and mine alone so I told him to chill out and relax. Well, after I paid for my food and only mine alone, this fool 3cp paid for everything else with his drunken a** and he didn’t even order anything. So afterwards, we went to a blackjack table so 21 and the blonde can get in on it. As for 3cp, he did all he could to stay up and watched as 21 was winning but he decided to call it a night and headed upstairs. 21 never played blackjack so this was his first time. The blonde actually was a good teacher and so was everyone else sitting at the table with him. Because of that, this guy actually won some money (over $100). As for me, I stayed up till 6 o’clock in the morning talking to McKenzie about things that I’ll probably skip for now (I said I’d be detail but that’s TOO long). After a while, 21 called it quits and then I was soon feeling the effects of staying way, way up. Who can say that after meeting a broad for 6 hours, she invites you to her house to cook for you and then….. and then to come for Thanksgiving?I can.Because of the fact I knew this was a crazy broad who had issues (after talking with her for 6 hours), we exchanged numbers (I’m a hypocrite) and I called it a night. Now you have to realize this was the night we came in. For Saturday, we did a bit of walking on the strip on a breezy day. For the record, you don’t need your car to drive around. Either walk or if you’re really lazy, take the cabs. The cabs are probably the cheapest things in Vegas. Even cheaper than food! Anywho, we went to a place where you can get a 5 frozen shots in a tall plastic cup. That thing was around $18 each and it was worth every penny (thanks 21). After walking around with alcohol in our hands in public (it’s great) we went to the Monte Carlo. That place brought everyone good luck when it came to gambling. Then we got tickets to see Lance Burton who I believe is the best magician ever. Let me tell you something, if you haven’t seen a Lance Burton show stop reading this and go see one. Amazing, amazing show. You think you seen it all and then at the last moment, he pops out somewhere in the auditorium. He was also taking shots at Cris Angel which made me more excited. CRIS ANGEL SUCKS. Nothing else to add but he just sucks. Not a magician at all. After the magic show, we go back to the Luxor to “suit up” again to go to the Palms and check out the clubs in there. One of my regrets was not going into “L.A.X”, another regret was not taking a cab to the Palms. Imagine, from the Luxor to the Palms in dress shoes! Not fun whatsoever. After the long walk (and taking pics) we finally came to the place where the Real World was shot at. You have to realize when I WAS a fan of the Real World. Miami, Hawaii and Las Vegas were the best out of them all. So to be in the same spot where they were years ago, it felt kinda cool. As soon as you entered in the resort, it looked exactly like it did when they shot it back then. We went into several clubs for only $40 total. What they have is $30 to get in one club but for $10 more, you can have an all access pass to all the clubs in the Palms. Another thing I just thought of, you know how you need to wear black or dress shoes to certain clubs for dress code? Well in the Palms, you can wear any type of shoes. I was so pissed from walking from the Luxor in dress shoes when I could of worn my baby blue/white/gray Starburys. Anyways after realizing this was the best option, we paid the $40 and began the fun at the Rain Nightclub. Alright, so from what they use to show on the Real World: Las Vegas, this place was always packed and bumping. They weren’t lying at all. The place was ridiculously packed. Rain is officially the biggest club I’ve ever been in. Not alot of potentials in that place but people were dancing…….. which brings me to this reasoning. You know on the Real World how they show a scene in a club and you hear that music and you assume that’s what’s playing in the club? NNOOOOO! Maybe I’m a dumba** but that’s what I thought. Apparently, they edited the songs that they’re dancing to, to some random song of the producer’s choice that has a club feel to it. With that being said, Rain is officially a trance/rave club. I never knew this cause it seemed like a hip-hop club. Nope, straight techno music constantly nothing else. I’m a fan of the 90’s house music, you know when things just felt “alright”. Now it’s just akward and weird. Put it this way, remember how hip-hop was back in the early 90’s and then listen to it now. Same thing with the house music. Lights were flashing everywhere, constant fog spraying when a new song came on, upstairs was packed just as downstairs and the patio/outside the Rain looked like a Smirnoff commercial. 3cp and 21 wasn’t feeling it as much so we bounced after being in there for over half an hour. The next club is my FAVORITE CLUB OF ALL TIME!!! I waited an hour to get in there because we had to wait for an elevator but dammit….. it was worth it. Who can say they went to the world’s only Playboy Club?I can.From the first floor, to the 52nd floor in under 15 sceconds, my heart melted when the doors opened up to hip-hop music blaring out of every which direction, girls in bunny suits, girls (potentials everywhere) dancing on tables and the coolest sights looking out the windows. Immediately I told the guys “I don’t want to leave.” This place was amazing. The first thing I did was look out the big a** windows and just stared at the nightlife surrounding us. When you have moments like I had looking out of that window and just being in the Playboy Club, why the f*** would I want to be back in AZ? Don’t get me wrong, AZ is a love/hate thing but with whatever success I have in store for me in my lifetime, I plan on enjoying it and hopefully staying out there by/on the strip. Just looking at the walls in the place, they’re basically little plasma tv’s showing every single models posing in playboy history…… just delicious. Needless to say, I didn’t want to leave but for $40, 3cp and 21 wanted to keep it moving. So we took the stairs to go up the 53rd floor to my second favorite club of all time, the Moon Nightclub. The Moon is at the top of the building with an open view of everything out in the opening. I thought Rain was packed with techno freaks but Moon had more people and was definitely bumping nothing but that hip-hop. Scoping out the spot with a drink in my hand, this place had no problems with it at all. There was nothing wrong with Moon at all. I’m really trying to think of something but nope, nothing. So I went outside to the patio where it opens up the outside air and sure enough, everyone was by the plexiglass taking pictures of themselves with the background of the city behind ‘em. There was no chance of even getting 5 feet of the plexiglass cause it was that packed on the patio. We went upstairs to a second floor and same thing with the plexiglass. God I wanted to take a pic with the city behind me. Also, there was alot of weed in the air…….. lots and lots of weed in the air (I won’t comment anymore on that;). Within the Moon, it has it’s own little club I guess called the “Satellite Bar.” The whole floor in the Satellite Bar flashed constantly like the disco era. I didn’t really get to go in so I can’t really give you a review on it. We probably stayed in there for over an hour or so then we went downstairs into the Playboy Club again. By this point, the club was looking empty and nothing but dudes scoping out the bunny dealers. 3cp and 21 saw it but I missed it, apparently right next to me at a blackjack table where you put down $100 as a minimum (I need to get on that level), a middle age guy was sitting at the table with what looked like his two blonde girlfriends. This guy wins a hand and they celebrate by having the girls french kiss each other and then he kisses each of them seprately (once again, I need to get on that level). So we realized the night was coming to close so we headed to the elevator and down to the first floor to catch a cab. So we catch our cab, took under ten minutes to get back to the hotel and only cost $10 (I told you cabs are probably cheaper than food out there). The night was very good but the next day…… it was a doozy.So the next day, everyone decided it was going to be nothing but gambling and then afterwards, a strip club. I was down for it all….. until I realized I was running low on cash. I had gambled and won a few times but then because of the fact I didn’t stop when I came up, I lost not only the money I was winning, I was losing my own (ouch). So I figured “I’ll try my luck one more time and then I’m done. I figured, “I’d rather come back with my own money then with nothing at all.” We “suited up”, and headed out walking to the strip. We went up in New York, New York to see what was in there. Inside is nice as hell. The name basically says it all if you’ve never been to New York. The tables weren’t giving us the feel “lucky” vibe and there’s no buffets in there. They only have food courts and man was there alot. So we dipped from there and went across the street to the MGM Grand hotel. By the way there was a UFC main event that weekend. Does anyone know what happened? I was down there and I have no idea on who won. Anyways, we went to a buffet in there and it was a much, much better buffet then the one in the Luxor. For the extra $5 they charged compared to the Luxor’s buffet, you get way, way more options in what to eat. So anywho after the grub, we walked around the MGM to get the “feel” but MGM was where everyone lost the most money compared to anywhere else so we didn’t want to go that route again. So we went into the Paris hotel (it’s a big Eiffel Tower). It wasn’t nearly as big as the real one but the inside very cool. Everything was a Paris feel, look to it. Earlier that day, we saw a tutorial on their gambling channels on how to play roulette (it’s not as easy as everyone thinks it is). We figure we try it out and press our luck. I felt myself taking way too many chances earlier in the weekend so I let 3cp try his luck at Roulette. My favorite saying now since coming back from Vegas is “Sell me a dream”. That’s all I was saying to 3cp the whole time while in the Paris. 3cp got mad cause 21 and I didn’t play. 21 went to try his lucky hand at Blackjack but came back empty handed (I think he lost his $100). “You want me to jump in “3cp”, you better sell me a dream dammit.” I said. Out of all three of us, 3cp was the one winning more but when the trip was over, he lost way more….. WAY WAY MORE! He started out with a few $5 chips and started winning but he kept betting on the same thing and soon lost a bit of his own money. He knew it wasn’t as easy as he thought but he tried and didn’t bet all his money. He tried his luck at a three card poker table and wasn’t doing well either there. 3cp and 21 lost money there but I was still holding on to whatever I had left. So we left from there and went into the Bellagio (the one that has the big water fountains in front). The inside looked hella expensive and was big. 3cp played three card poker and was winning a sh*tload. So 21 and I went to go find a bar and get a drink. We come back and sure enough, there was 3cp standing there, waiting for us. He has lost it all again. He told me when we were by him, he had winning hands. When we left, he started to lose. We walked around in the hotel, 21 got some expensive ice cream that was like $10 in a platic cup that looked like for drinking. We left the Bellagio and headed back towards the Luxor. Now I did skip a part and that was when we went to the Monte Carlo again to try our “luck” there. But I lost my $100 playing three card poker. You see why I skipped that part? We actually chilled in the room watching tv for the first time since we got in to Vegas. We mainly used the room for sleeping and washing our a**es. The whole time we went somewhere and now, we were contemplating on what to do…… well, they were not me. I honestly wanted to call it a day right then and there. And it was around maybe 4 or 5 in the afternoon. I was disappointed. I was hyped up coming into Vegas and bringing home more money than what I came with even if it was something measley. For the last day, I just felt I couldn’t roll out with the boys and head somewhere. So an hour goes by and now I’m playing my psp and the boys wanna hit the strip again to find a connection on where to get in a strip club for free. I figured they were as broke as me, so why not? Throughout the strip, just little mexicans trying to hand out these little calling cards that have celebrities or porn stars on them and apparently you can have ‘em from $35-$100…… Uh no. These guys are everywhere. I will say though that 3cp had and experience with calling one of them up but it wasn’t a good thing. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T CALL THOSE NUMBERS FOR GIRLS. They’ll keep calling you over and over again. We stumbled onto a guy that gave us a pass for all of us to get in any strip club for free with a all night limo ride for only $9!!!! Ah, the deals you make in Vegas. We checked out the pass to make sure it was good and then we followed the guy’s directions on how to do what we needed to do. We called up a number on the pass, waited for 30 minutes or so for the limo to pick us up, went back to the hotel to get properly changed just in case and then headed out. All three of us were in the back of this limo thinking is this deal we got off of a corner off the strip for real? Ladies and gentlemen, yes it was. The limo driver told us though there were some stipulations. We can go to any strip club but we decided to go to three. He told us the first one we have to go to was a place outside the strip called Rick’s Caberet. He says we had to stay in there for about 30 minutes to look like were actually doing something in there and not wasting time. That way, this guy gets his limo paid for by the caberet and then we do what we want. If we leave before the 30 minutes, then we have to pay for the limo. Obviously, we did what was told and rolled right up in there. Rick’s Caberet wasn’t big but tall (I hope that makes sense). The place had some nice lookers but nothing out of the ordinary you would find here. 3cp and I were chatting up a storm while 21 already had a stripper on his lap as soon as we got in. He later told us she thought he was cute and wanted him to be her boyfriend (………). When she walked away for a bit, I gave him his credit but he really thought it was gonna get to poppin with him and her. Now I’m getting worried because you can’t go down that road with those broads. That’s why they’re good at doing what they do. She later came back, grabbed his hand and they went somewhere. 3cp was playing it cool to anyone who came up to him. Nothing special for him. As for me? Well at one moment, I was finished talking to 3cp and looked toward the stage to see some stripper wearing a Arizona Cardinals jersey (boo!) and I turned back around to 3cp to make a joke about the jersey and this 6’5 tall thing appeared right in front of me. I got scared and put the hands up like I was gonna do some boxing. This girl came out of nowhere and started talking to me and whatnot. Let me say this real quick. I’m 25, and I can say I’ve been to a few strip clubs. I don’t like ‘em. When you go to your first one, obviously you wanna see everything. But then, you realize there’s nothing in it for you at all. Just a case of blue balls and empty wallets. Why should I pay you with money to see you naked when I can use my talents to get you naked? So after my first two times, I don’t do nothing but sit in the back and chill. Girl comes up and wants to dance, no thanks. I ain’t got time to hear about your life when I know you lying and then you wanna dance on my crotch for one song? F*** that! Sorry there, where was I?……. oh, so this girl starts asking for my name while she’s tickling my balls! Once again, no lie! And it didn’t feel good, that sh*t hurts. She must have thought I was a soldier for letting her do that so she kept throwing herself at me. I should of used a fake name (rule #1 when you go to a strip club) but it’s hard to think of anything but your real name when your balls feel like they have their own version of a headache. This goofy broad says “Oh that’s my sons name. Let me ask you, what yo mama call you? Tre, Tre?” Aaaaahhhhhh. Oh and let me say this broad had a DEEP voice. Not a manly deep voice but one where you can tell she smokes way too much. I was laughing with her on the outside but inside my head, I was screaming “You got to be sh*ting me?!” She asked where I was from and I told her Phoenix and immediately I get “Oh sh*t, I thought you was from L.A. You had me until you said you was from Phoenix.” Peoples, see the reputation Phoenix gets when even strippers get turned off? So I told her let’s act like I’m from L.A and start the converstaion over. She whispered in my ear “N***a what you looking for tonight?” Then she starts purring in my ear. Nothing in the world turns me on than when a woman starts purring in your damn ear. Let me think about that for a moment…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. alright where was I? So she says she’s from San Franciso and she wants to show me how San Franciso girls gave lapdances. I ain’t stupid and I let her know that. I told her I didn’t want one and if I did, I’d let her know. She just couldn’t take no for a f***ing answer. She then says she’ll convince me by going up on stage next and showing me what I’ll be missing. You wanna know what I was missing? This chick goes on stage and at the perfect time, all the color lights turned white and shined on her to show stretch marks from the bottom of her breast to her mid thighs. I am not exaggerating. She then goes to some dudes that have money and start making her a** clap. I noticed she keeps looking my way so I purposely start talking to 3cp who knows what I’m doing and wants the girl to come back my way. She walks over from the stage and starts clapping to get my attention. I know this and 3cp being the a**hole he is tries to get me to turn around. She then uses her stilettos and starts tapping the floor like a horse. She’s telling me to go up to her and I’m being the one with all eyes on me telling her “hell nah”. I have no patience when it comes to stripper which is why I don’t go to one anymore but this is Vegas, c’mon. After a few moments of arguing with a stripper on stage, she finally gets the point and goes to the other side. Was she cute you asked? NO! Did you not read the part about the stretch marks? Eewwww. Now all of a sudden, 21 comes back with the same stripper (I believe) and now 3cp has some broad talking to him. Let me explain how much of a dick I really am. A stripper from across the room sees me and then sees my boys with strippers. She walks over to me and asks “Hey baby, mind if I sit down?” I knew she wanted to sit on my lap of course and my leg was sticking out the whole time. In a monin tone, all I said was “I don’t mind”. She looked at my leg, then looked around for a chair, looked at me again and then said “Ah…. nice talking to you.” And with that, I basically brushed her off to go find someone else. We got a text from the limo guy that he got paid and so we dipped out. 3cp left a broad that was gonna get “freshen up” and come back for a lapdance (lol). While we was in the limo, 21 told us the girl he was talking to tried to get him in a v.i.p room for $200. He played it off by asking directions to the bathroom but she knew what was up and left him alone on the v.i.p thing. Now, we then went to the world’s largest strip club called the Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club. This place was definitely hella bigger and had more girls. When you see girls are standing around waiting on their co-workersto stop giving lapdances so they could go to that same fool and dance for them, you know there’s alot of girls. I noticed a russian broad talking to 3cp forever and then all of a sudden, she comes over to give me a lapdance courtesy of him for my b-day (now I owe him two). Nice boobs, bony a** and possibly, the worst lapdance I have ever gotten. This girl tried her damndest to get me “at attention” but nope, nothing. She wanted to keep going but I knew she wanted more money and wasn’t gonna give up anything when she got nothing to go “up”, so I turned her down. 21 was getting lapdances like he was going to jail the next day. The girls he was picking almost had me pulling out money my damn self. We stayed there for over an hour and then we dipped out. Sapphire is officially the biggest strip club in the world but it still didn’t do it for me. We headed to the limo and figured where else could we go? I heard all the rumors about this one place, hell I was even referred to it. We headed to what I say in my own opinion is THE BEST STRIP CLUB I’VE EVER BEEN IN PERIOD. Gentlemen, you haven’t been anywhere till you’ve been to Spearmint Rhino or just “The Rhino”. This place was banannas. The ratio was ridiculous. Now this place looked like a gentlemen’s club. This place looked classy. It just had that feel to it and on top of that, all the girls were young, beautiful and no f***ing stretch marks. It was a sight for sore eyes. I believe 3cp and defintely 21 got a lapdance. This one girl in particular spent a good 30 minutes talking to me, trying to see if I wanted a lapdance. I told you all the girls were beautiful but I’m picky (*sigh*). After coming back from the bathroom, she was all over 21 giving him a lapdance. Man, we was drinking alot up in there….. till the point 3cp started falling asleep in the damn place (lol). When I tried to get his attention, he played it off like he wasn’t sleeping and wanted to get lapdances from waitresses and not the strippers (waitresses were way better than the strippers), 21 talked to a stripper for a an hour or more! What did they talk about, I don’t know but 3cp was livid. 3cp wanted all three of us at the same time get three lapdances and 21 was holding us up by talking to this broad about life (I’m laughing typing this out). So 3cp started to dooze off, 21 was talking up a storm and me, I kept my eyes to the front of the stage watching the girls. Some of the girls tried to brush up on me so they could apologize and start talking to me. I knew it would lead up to nothing so I played it off. I stayed in the Rhino for at least 5-6 hours. It was so much fun. Don’t get me wrong, that wasn’t all that happened but since I’m getting tired of typing now, I had to chop down the Rhino part. All I know is the first thing I do when I go back is go there. That’s how much fun I had in there. So 3cp tries to hit up the limo driver so we can call it a night but dude doesn’t respond. We figured out that he basically left us there. So we catch a cab (thank god they’re cheap) and we head back to the hotel. What an adventure this turned out to be. At the end of the day, who can say they went to 3 strip clubs for close to 8 hours?I can.The next morning we checked out, drove down the strip, head to what I believe is the most expensive looking McDonalds I’ve ever seen and then said goodbye to Vegas. The trip back to Phoenix was quiet…… cause I went right to sleep. But when I woke up, just looking at all that untouched earth out amongst the highway just got me thinking “there’s way more out there”. Coming back to the crib and setting my stuff down in my room, it made me depressed. You always think you’ve came prepared when you entered Vegas but you’re not. So for the next time, I’ll bring double the money, not buy any drinks (you get free drinks out there when you’re gambling), get at an asian, get some gucci glasses (don’t feel like explaining), stick to blackjack and get lapdances for everyone that rolls with me;) With it’s all said and done, yes I did have fun and even though I lost a sh*tload out there, I’ll be going back in the near future.

Ass or Drunk Friends?

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Good Sunday to all. Today was nothing but texting, eating pizza and constant naps. I would of added running or going to my gym tonight but once again when it comes down to it, I’m just lazy. Today was meant for just being lazy, not working out (I’ll regret it later). I think I’ma have to get back in the gym anyways. Not only did I paid rent recently (yay), I basically ran through all the little money I had left. So now I need to keep myself entertain….. by working out. I’d give it another month give or take and I’ll be fine with those abs I kinda see now. Anyways, I knew something was gonna go down on Saturday. Lots of laughs that day. Now needless to say, my stories/blogs come with a disclaimer but this is the tenth blog so you should automatically know that by now.So Saturday, I went to the Improv to see Gabriel Iglesias. That dude is very funny. I saw him on Comedy Central and he was funny but to see him live and in person, it makes a big difference. He had a couple of his friends do stand up as well and they were all funny in their own way but I see why he stands out. Because of Gabe, I don’t think I can use the word “fat” anymore. I like the new term “fluffy” better. Just sounds funny. So anyways, the place was sold out and jammed pack. We still got a good table and was able to see everything. But the moment for me was the crowd participation. The first guy that was up there who was also the host of the night, his name is Martin Moreno. He started off good and then asked who was in the crowd that night. I remembered he asked if there was any mexicans in the room, and of course the mexicans clapped and cheered. Then he asked if there was any white people in the room and majority of the room cheered and clapped. But when he asked if there was any black people in the room, apparently all the black people chose not to say anything at all………………… except me. I yelled “RIGHT HERE…………” and man did I get clowned on! For some reason, I was the only one that said anything and everybody turned and started laughing at me. Martin thought I was the only black guy in the room and you know what, so did I. I was with some friends of mine and man did they almost choke to death when I got clowned on. But you know what? I was embarrassed but in a funny way so it was all good. For the rest of the night, any comedian that said any jokes relating to black people, sure enough all eyes were on me. That was weird though. They were going after everyone but when a black joke came out, there were a few heads that turned around just to see if I was laughing at the jokes. That was stupid but I didn’t care. Jokes is jokes and man did they go to town on everyone. Comedians don’t always have it easy I see. I don’t think I can make people constantly laugh like they do. So after a good two hours, my friends and I went to take a picture with Mr. Iglesias. Whenever he puts it up on his myspace, I’ll post it up. Now compared to me, dude is short (but everyone is short to me of course). He’s not a big, big dude but “fluffy”. If you haven’t heard anything of him, I highly recommend it. After seeing him live, I’m now a fan of him and especially Martin. So then after downing a good 24 pack with the guys at the improv (very expensive) we decided to head to Mill (as usual). The night wasn’t anything spectacular, same ‘ol, same ‘ol. Hooked up with some more of my friends and just chilled. Let me say this, yager shots don’t mean nothing to me. But a nice laundry detergent cap size cup with yager, EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW it hurts really bad. I managed to survive but two of my friends didn’t have a lovely night if you catch my drift (they threw up ;). Now during the night, I get these lovely and annoying texts from this girl that wants to let’s just say “talk”. Now being me, I’m out having a good time thinking my night is almost over and then BAM! Texts out the blue asking “what you doin?”, “where you at?” “whose with you?”, etc. This turned from a possible “sleepover” to a straight “marriage on the rocks” type of texting. We’ll call her “psycho” (needless to say why). I’m getting texts from psycho which started out as just seeing what’s up. Nothing wrong with that right? Then it turns into an interrogation. I’m hanging with my friends and this girl that I hardly know wants to asks about what type of girls are you hanging out with? That gets no play with me. I don’t do that to anyone so needless to say I don’t want that to happen to me. The night comes to a close and I take two of my friends to their vehicle. I feel my phone vibrating out the ass but I wasn’t going to respond, I didn’t need to. Once I made sure my friends were straight (I’m such a gentleman), I called her up and put it out there. “What do you want?” I said. “What’s your problem? You alright or something?” All psycho wanted was some attention. So much attention, she wanted to come to my house and well………. you know. Now I feel people are thinking what the problem then? Seems like I f’d up right? Nope. One of my friends was so drunk, he went M.I.A and he had the car keys. This is a very serious situation. You never want a friend doing that. I took my other drunk friend and went looking for him. I’m getting threating texts of I’m in the parking lot getting ready to come over and more threats of being at my house at a certain time or I’m not getting any. Really psycho? You expect me to choose your bummy ass over a missing drunking friend? I merely told her don’t ever hit me up again and the last text I got was “you could of hit this anyway you wanted but whatever”. I still don’t regret what I said till this day. I know some of ya’ll are like “who is this girl?” Just another one that wasn’t grateful enough of just hanging out with yours truly. Don’t get me wrong in certain situations, I choose broads but this was something you couldn’t let happen. Besides, I wasn’t even feeling her that way cause she’s a little weird. (hence the nickname). I ended up catching a cab with the other drunk friend, went to get some grub, watched some boxing at 3 in the morning, watched my friend throw up in my kitchen sink and then try to hide his half eaten burrito under my bed (yuck!). What happen to the missing friend? He was smart enough to catch a cab and got home safely. I’m just surprised a drunk person was so smart to say “I’m done” and catch a cab but not tell anyone. But as long as he’s safe, it was a good night. So what will happen with this psycho issue? Nothing. Girls are girls. Except this one was just weird. Shouts out to everyone that hung out with me on Saturday, shouts out to Jenna (thanks for the yagers), shouts out to Brittany (congrats once again) and to the comedians at the Improv. Hopefully I get some tickets to go see Eddie Griffith in a couple of weeks. Now I’ma watch “True Blood” and call it a night. Later everyone and hopefully, someone will do or say something silly where I’ll put them on blast. I just won’t use their names that’s all ;)

The "Squad" vs The "Rat Pack" vs The "Originals"

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 00:00:00 -0400

It’s nice to just start typing and getting into the groove of things. Good afternoon myspace friends and people I just don’t know….. yet. I’ll assume everyone is doing alright and staying out of trouble. I’ve been busy like there’s no tomorrow. When I’m not hanging out with friends, I’m at work. When I’m not at work, I’m making appointments and emailing important people. When I’m not making appointments and emailing important people……. I’m sleeping. Needless to say you get the point.
Well, it’s been awhile since I put out a lovely story about my adventures with my friends and I so let me see if I can think of one…….. well, there’s a few but I’m not at liberty to say them because they have nothing to do with me (actually that’s even better). But in this case, I wouldn’t want anything coming back on me in no shape or form. Some of my close peeps are doing what they do best….. getting in trouble. But they’re alright…… as long as I’m there to “babysit”.
I just got done putting up some old pics (but obviously new to you guys out there) and realize I don’t have any pics with my other friends. Now I hang with my “originals”, my “squad” and my infamous “rat pack”. Each group is all close in certain time periods of my life but needless to say I don’t have those cool pics of my other friends. If you notice a thing or two about my pictures, you realize I hang with a few recognizable faces from high school. This group is called the “squad”. No matter what happens or how far apart everyone is, we eventually all come back together. That’s some cool stuff right there. The “originals” are the one’s from the beginning. Before high school, hell for some even before grade school. This little group is what made me so nice and lovable (for reals). Since I’m so far, far, far, far away from these guys, there’s really not that much hanging out unless something big goes down. As for the “rat pack”, there’s actually two separate ones. One R.P is the usual faces you see in my pics. Always partying up. The other R.P is what made me the smart ass that some of you know me to be. This pack can’t ever come with a camera at all. I’m telling you guys, I can vouch for everything they would want to say but none of us have cameras (oh yeah our phones, duh!). I would like to say some good stories but these are the kind where if you say ‘em, you need proof. I swear peoples, the next time I’m out there with them in Avondale, I’m taking crappy pics with my camera on my phone.
It only shows that I love all my friends and I would like all of them to get together but I honestly don’t see that happening anytime soon. I feel like a manager who wants to get all these great artists together and put them on a compilation album.
Well if anyone is interested, check out my homie Justin’s blog. His will leave you thinking or laughing. Also please check out one of my close friend’s page, SPAWN VILLAIN. He’s doing well for himself. A little bit more work and this boy is gone. Also Alicia, where’s your request at? I’m not requesting you, you request me. Besides that people, I’m heading out.